Crying it out - things you really need to know

Remember the scene in the movie "Lonesome Dove" after Gus (played by Richard Duval) saved Laurie (played by Diane Lane), who had been abducted and assaulted. Since her rescue she had been unable to speak, and they were camping on the way to join their friends on a cattle drive to Montana. They particularly enjoyed playing the game of poker together so he set up a table and cards for them to play. The beautiful memories of pleasant times brought tears in her eyes. He hugged her close in his arms and gently told her to let them flow, to cry it all out; saying something to the effect that what happened was in the past and that was the way to keep it in the past so it wouldn't follow her the rest of her life.

Truly those were wise words coming from a medium of entertainment. Just imagine what would happen if parents did that when their children starts to cry. Sure, no one likes to see their children in pain, and crying is a sign of extreme distress. However if they are not at the present time either injured physically or extremely uncomfortable due to external conditions such as cold and heat, or even very hungry, then maybe they just need to shed a few tears. Whatever the reason may have been to upset them is in the past; perhaps the tears are just a way of helping every person insure that the bad incident fades into distant memory.

For a number of us have experienced how beneficial crying can be. No matter how you try and resist the tears, but when they flow there’s relief, and what’s more a cleared head and new perspectives. In the same way, when young children are in someone’s loving arms when the tears flow, and at the same time are told that the bad feelings will pass, they will surely experience the same kind of relief.

Of course, this isn’t to say that is would be a great idea for kids to be encouraged to demand attention at any whim or to cry persistently. Parents at all times should use their judgment about where and when it’s a good idea to pause whatever they might be doing and give a child a big hug and let them know that its okay to cry. Or else, if you have something pressing to do, you can even say I've only got five minutes, but I’m all yours for that time, and maybe we can chat about it soon after.

For sure, this pertains to families where children and adults are basically normal people. For children who have either behavioral problems and act out often and extremely, you may want to consider calling a professional in some aspect of psychology or a pediatrician.